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Tuesday, November 5th, 2002

Time Event
10:59p
Beware: Mushy Territory
I tried my best not to have my journal be a forum for me to talk about how much I love my boyfriend, Mike, but this time I can't help it.
Yesterday was a horrible day for everyone. What sucks for me was that I have been dealing with alot of inadequacy issues about myself. I ended up talking about this to Lauren Regina and Kate and ended up crying. I try not to talk about these things with Mike because I don't want him to think that I'm saying things about myself to get attention or that I'm fishing for compliments. Well, despite this, I told Mike about what happened and what I've been dealing with. So he did the most thoughtful and consiterate thing for me; I check my mail today and I find this sweet sweet letter :

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Dear Christina,

I hope it reaches you in time. Hey what's going on, it's 3am and I think I'm lonely. Anyways, enough of the small talk. So your depressed. So you feel like you are inadequate. So you feel like you need to change. Why? What dictates what you should look like, act like, or be like. You can only be yourself, and suprise, your the best at being Christina; that means you are number 1. Wow.... think about that: You are Christina, Christina is number 1.... You are number 1.

So you say your not good enough, not talented enough, not enough. Well like I said the type of person my mom was for me I want to be for you. I believe in you and I believe in what you can achieve. Don't worry about what people say because there were always be a different types of people with there ideas of what is perfect. It only matters what you believe though. If you are happy with your efforts then screw what other people say. You are the best judge of your own abilities and you learn at your own pace. You know what my idea of perfect is, you, Christina Marie Anne Haberkern.

You know how you said before that I was perfect to you. Well by saying that you admitted that your perfect but you may not know now it. People are built by their environment and atmosphere. In the past two and a half years no one has had a bigger impact on my life that you. And since you are a big part of my life and I am perfect then you must also be perferct.

Although I may not always understand how you act or why you do/say ceratin things, I am always here for you, I will always love you and always hold you as a friend. You are beautiful, intelligent, sweet, caring, and respectful..... what more can I say, you are Christina. That counts for a lot.

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Never has someone done something for me to show me how much they care for me and for that I owe him so much. I cannot put into words what this boy has done for me today.

Current Mood: thankful

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