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Monday, December 2nd, 2002

Time Event
Judgement Day
Well. 6:00 tonight I find out what's wrong with me. I'm so scared. Last night I just tossed and turned worrying. Me and Mike layed in bed and talked about what I might have to have done. It was really scary. It's the fact that my doctor hasn't told me anything because he wanted the MRI results is what's freaking me out.............

Current Mood: stressed
The Verdict
Well. I thought the worst, now I know the worst. The deformity of my vertebrae has caused two of my lower disks to "condense, pop, and herniate." The one disk is slidding to the back, the other is frankly getting squished and popping out the sides. I was told that they are not hitting my nerves, but they are affecting them; hense the reason why my leg pain and arm numbness is not constant. I have to go to physical therapy for 6-24 sessions (!), possibly get Cortizone shots (!!), and if those do not work, surgery (!!!). Frankly, I don't know what therapy is going to do for me since it is not muscular, it's part of my bone structure. I got more medication (my third priscription so far) but I just want this to be done with, I'd rather get surgery than have to be doped up all the time. I just am sick of being in pain all the time.

One more thing: All I would like to say here is the same thing I commented on Nicole's journal earlier today. The past couple of weeks and today has been the hardest time I've had to deal with my entire life. Having people like you in my life, nothing but supportive, loving and just plain listening to my complaining...has been the best help. Nothing is better than knowing that you're loved. I'm really glad to know the type of friends I have in my life. It's going to be the only things that gets me through this mess.......So thank you. <3 you all

Current Mood: crappy

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