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Wednesday, December 11th, 2002

Time Event
11:56p
My Day, My Life
Today was a struggle, but finally, I am done with Typography and I will never have to look at Margo Borton again. I never did so much work in my life, especially for a class that is only worth 1.5 credits.

So my mom called my phone to tell me that she made my first physical therapy appointment. It's on the 19th. I guess I waste no time after school huh. I hope it works because my backs been feeling more and more horrilbe as the days go by. I try not to bitch about it and complain when I get the shots of pain, because I don't want to be "that girl" who whines and everyone rolls their eyes out. It's just been really hard to deal with. Popping pills all the time and such, I hate it. I always ask why me when I get hit with bad news, but hey, guess it's just the cards I've been dealt.....

So after Monday I will be done school. I must say, I'm gonna miss it here for that month; moochin off Kate, all the fake fights, singing Little Mermaid in deserted studios with Marge and Desiree...I had fun this semester....but it's definately going to be nice to see everyone and hang out with people who I haven't been able to devote the full attention they deserve.

It just sucks because I love hanging out and all, and I guess I can't have anyone understand this, but I'm not looking forward to the things that I'm suppossed to be excited for, this isn't anything new. I don't even want to have a birthday, Christmas, or (sorry guys) the new years that everyone is so excited about. Just right now I'm not looking forward to stuff. I just want to be mellow and hang out with close friends, no big deals, you know? I know no one believes me when I say I don't want any big birthday this year too, but it true, it's not some big reverse psychology plot or anything. My mom took me out and told me to get whatever make-up I needed, boom, birthday present done and over with, and I couldn't be happier. I just feel horrible and overwhelmed and want this break to make myself better , I want to blend in; not be made a fuss over or anything. I guess I can't explain it too well, but it sounds right in my head.....

And how BAD do I feel that I can't work at all. I have absolutely ZERO dollars to buy stuff for presents. Sure, I could get money off my parents, but it wouldn't be from me. I'm sorry if anyone feels ignored or anything by me because of this........ARG!

Alright well I'm sorry this was so long, but I needed to clear out my brain so I can study for my Modern Art exam. Love you guys and hope you enjoyed the walk in my head <3

Current Mood: indifferent

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